Sira ✨

How easily power becomes pain  when it is not held gently.  When I was down under last year, A friend told me they were going through a journey  a journey of absolute emotional expression. They felt they needed to experience everything fully, to say everything aloud, and to stop hiding their innermost feelings. They asked me to accompany them on that journey, to be their friend along the path. I agreed. Partly out of curiosity, partly because I wondered what it would awaken in me. So I surrendered to it all  the anger, the irritation, the uncomfortable honesty. We spoke closely, sometimes too closely, again and again, about what displeased us, What hurt us, What we found difficult in each other. And eventually, I felt the need to express myself more, too. More feelings. More truth. Even my anger. For a time, Anger came out of me in a way that felt unfamiliar. And I found that fascinating. Because anger is never just one emotion. It carries many others within it ...

 I sometimes look back at my life and at the choices I made, And I wonder How interesting life becomes when things don’t go as planned. I used to be a big planner. I planned every detail. I loved watching my plans come true. But life, of course, doesn’t work that way. Many plans failed. Many disappointments arrived. Life happened. There was a year when I compared what I had planned with what actually unfolded. And life surprised me, it always does in ways I could never have designed myself. So I stopped. I stopped planning. I started making goals without forcing myself to reach them. I broke my comfort, my rules, my expectations. And somehow, life filled itself with joy and stories. Sometimes I wonder what if I had said yes to my first relationship? But every No brought me here. Every No I said to choose myself opened another road, another meeting, another version of life. What comes with no is not always light. Sometimes it carries grief. Sadness. Boundaries that hurt to build. Bu...

 I’m Not Ready to Love! I’m not ready. And I’m still learning What does that even mean? I’ve always wondered about the people who say We are born ready. I don’t know How can anyone be ready? all the time for everything. After meeting people, observing them, watching them, listening more than speaking, I realized something simple I need time. Everything needs time. Trees need time to grow into themselves. Soup needs time to become warm and whole. A child needs time before it enters the world. Everything needs time. So when something feels ready without the time before it, I can’t help but wonder How can you love without time to grow into love? How can you be with someone without time to simply be? How can you be ready to fall in love when you haven’t had time to understand what you feel? And maybe that’s the truth. I’m not ready. I need time for that.

I fell in love a million times Once, when I saw you under the sun and once, when I woke under the moon   before the day began Looking at your face Next to mine As the whole world Just began A newborn, I call it A new beginning I fell for the way you taught me love, Once, you sang for me. Like Cante Flamenco Raw Passionate Truthful moving enough to undo me. You held the rhythm And I hold you You were watching the dancer. And I was watching you. As the whole world forgets to spin But I never stopped dancing within If nine is my lucky number, Then ninety-nine is how many times a day Your name touches my heart In a million differet way Once, you smiled back. And once, I learned your smell the kind you don’t forget. I breathed you in. Once, I spoke in Persian. You answered in Arabic. And somehow somehow it felt like magic. Two lovers meeting And a million times, you showed me how to love All kinds of love A million forms   In a million ways. And a million times, I tasted your lips....

What Brings You Joy? I kept asking myself, what brings me joy? What is the feeling I want to live with every day to hold onto, and never take for granted? When wars are taking place everywhere, when people leave us with empty spaces, when the sun doesn’t shine today when all the things that once brought me joy disappear, How do I still want to feel? How do I still want to dream? How do I still want to live? These questions come to me when I’m under the sun. The sun brings me joy. The sun brings me comfort. The sun brings me life. There’s a saying in Arabic: “Heaven is where green, blue, and a beautiful face come together in one place.” I think of the sun, too. It’s the name of this blog in Spanish ' Sol ' and it sounds like soul in English. And somehow, it makes sense to try to contain everything in that one word. Gratitude is what I want to keep every day. I’m afraid of waking up one day empty! not of things, but of gratitude. We are not...

“Protect your energy." That’s what my dear friend kept telling me over the last few weeks, After I felt overwhelmed and burned out socially, emotionally, mentally, and physically. It took me some time to understand what she meant. How do I actually protect my energy? From what? From whom? I couldn’t help but wonder! Is it easy to feel drained- In the fast-paced life we live? Or did we simply lose control- Somewhere along the way? I look at people online They call themselves coaches, guides, or names I no longer recognize. It’s strange How obsessed we’ve become with labels. I saw an “energy guide” once, listing solutions: meditation, breathing, spirituality, and more. I was curious How did they get there? I’ve believed that life is a deeply individual journey. No one on Earth can fully feel you or truly understand you. So your job becomes to understand what’s moving through your life your thoughts, your emotions, And yes, your energy. I took my friend’s advice. I kept wondering. I ...

 I had to learn how to give peace. To give peace to all the unreturned things people, moments, and feelings. I was on a road trip in the Flinders Ranges, South Australia, When I forgot my favourite scarf from Spain somewhere along the road. It was strange, because I barely lose things. I’m known for keeping things in good shape and not losing them. So somehow, I was experiencing a new feeling about myself. It was hard to search for it. I looked everywhere we had been bars, restaurants, camping sites, but not a single sign. I felt grief about the situation, a moment of sadness, but also a quiet decision to let it go. I kept the picture, hoping Someone would find it and appreciate it. I reminded myself of my minimalism journey, where you sometimes have to give things up to make space for new things and still appreciate what you once had, and learn: Love people, use things, and appreciate both in their own time. I had to learn the grief of letting go of people I once ...

“I HAVE NO ENERGY LEFT” I said that after doing my best. I have no fight left in me for those who have no dignity, for those who are different in a good or bad way, just different. The ones who don’t align with my values. The ones who choose themselves over others, Who listens to one side and refuse to hear the other. Who thinks twice before giving, who think twice before loving, who think twice about sharing their food not only that, but carry such heavy moods they make you question your own goodness, as if it’s not enough, or not as worthy as theirs. Those who see the world differently who decides who is right and who is wrong, who deserves land more than another, Who deserves a visa? a paper, or even a mother. To the politicians’ anger. To women-haters. I had no energy left in me. To those who cannot dream. To those who do not dare. To live life I wish to spare myself. To the greedy. To the needy. To the ones who do not dare to dream, yet still dare to scream!